Jay and Laurie Lorenzen

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I’m finding myself on a needed journey toward more and more emotional maturity. Hopefully, I’m making some progress. Sadly, for a long time, I separated in my own mind emotional maturity from spiritual maturity. It didn’t really make sense though–since I immediately equated a “tantrum” in someone else as not only emotional immaturity but also spiritual immaturity. Yet somehow, I overlooked the conjunction of the two in my own approach to spiritual growth. Not any more! I’m beginning to realize the truth behind the following points found in Peter Scazzero’s challenging book, The Emotionally Healthy Church.

I. It Is Impossible To Be Spiritually Mature Without Being Emotionally Mature. As Scazzero argues, we’ve accepted a subtle message that separates the emotional from the spiritual. Most often, we’ve concluded falsely that our emotions are unrelated to the quality of our spiritual life. This often results in the following reality in churches. Many are supposedly “spiritually mature” but remain infants, children, or teenagers emotionally. They demonstrate little ability to process anger, sadness, or hurt. They whine, complain, distance themselves, blame and use sarcasm—like little children when they don’t get their way. Highly defensive to criticism or differences of opinion, they expect to be taken care of and often treat people as objects to meet their needs. Obviously, we can’t continue to define spiritual maturity apart from emotional maturity–if we want to become truly Christlike.

II. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Be Willing To Look Beneath The Surface. If emotional maturity equates in many ways to Christlikeness, we need to be willing to aggressively seek out “sub-surface” issues. On a journey to emotional maturity, we’ll travel to subterranean places where we’ll need to shine the light on places we’d rather not and embrace a brutal honesty vulnerability before God.

As Dan Allender writes, that’s when change comes:

Ignoring our emotions is turning our back on reality; listening to our emotions ushers us into reality. And reality is where we meet God… Emotions are the language of the soul. They are the cry that gives the heart a voice… However, we often turn a deaf ear- through emotional denial, distortion, or disengagement. We strain out anything disturbing in order to gain tenuous control of our inner world. We are frightened and ashamed of what leaks into our consciousness. In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God.

III. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Go Backward To Go Forward. In other words, the journey to maturity requires us to “go backward” in facing the realities of our past. At times we may need professional help to process these issues; at other times, we have to develop greater “reflective” discipline. On a journey of emotional maturity, we’ll need to follow the wisdom of Erwin McManus:

To explore we must first excavate. To discover we must first recover. To reframe we must first reflect. To imagine we must first examine. To move forward we must first step back.

IV. To Be Emotionally Mature You Must Learn To Manage Pain. As we journey below the surface and backward in the past, we’ll have to manage a certain level of pain. We’ll have to choose life and freedom and not succumb to a mind-set of victimism nor embrace the culture of blame.

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Bree said, “And now, Tarkheena, tell us your story. And don’t hurry it–I’m feeling comfortable now.” Aravis immediately began, sitting quite still and using a rather different tone and style from her usual one. For in Calormen, story-telling (whether the stories are true or made up) is a thing you’re taught, just as English boys and girls are taught essay-writing. The difference is that people want to hear the stories, whereas I never heard of anyone who wanted to read the essays.–C.S. Lewis

All the Inklings were storytellers. Lewis andTolkien once joked with one another. “Since we can’t find the stories we want to read, let’s write our own.” Apparently they flipped a coin to determine genres. Lewis would write a future story (his science fiction series) and Tolkien would write a mythological fantasy (his Lord of the Rings). The telling of stories has great power and as those who love the God of the bible we can’t overlook the power of story. Below, I’m passing on several of Tom Steffen’s (church planter) points about the value of storytelling in evangelism and discipleship. As you consider Tom’s points, measure them against your reaction to the upcoming movie, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

1. Storytelling is a universal form of communication. No matter where one travels in this world, people love to tell and listen to stories. Age does not deter this desire. Whether young children, teenagers, or senior citizens, all enjoy entering the life experiences of others through stories. Whatever the topic discussed, stories often become an integral part of the dialogue.

2. Stories connect with our imagination and emotions. Effective communication touches not only the mind, it also touches the heart and emotions. One of the best modes of communication to accomplish this is the story. Stories draw listeners into the lives of the characters (people, animals, or objects, real or fictitious). Listeners (participants) not only hear what happened to such characters; through the imagination they vicariously enter the experience. Herbert Schneidau captures this point when he states:

Stories have a way of tapping those feelings that we habitually anesthetize.

People appreciate stories because they mirror their total lives of fact and feeling. Stories uniquely interweave reason, mystery, and reactions, causing listeners to reflect on personal/group beliefs and actions. Stories unleash the imagination, making learning an exciting, life-changing experience.

3. Stories create instant evangelists. People find it very easy to repeat a good story. Whether the story centers around juicy gossip or the Gospel of Jesus Christ, something within each of us wants to hear and tell such stories. Suppressing a good story is like trying to resist a jar full of one’s favorite cookies. Sooner or later, the temptation becomes too strong. The cookie gets eaten; the story gets told. Told stories get retold.

4. Jesus taught theology through stories. It is interesting to note that Jesus never wrote a book on systematic theology. Yet, he taught theology wherever he went. As a holistic thinker, Jesus often used parabolic stories to tease audiences into reflecting on new ways of thinking about life. As Jesus’ listeners wrestled with new theology introduced innocently yet intentionally through parabolic stories, they were challenged to examine traditions, form new images of God, and transform behavior. Whichever direction the listeners took, they found no middle ground. They had met God. Jesus’ stories, packed with theology, caused reason, imagination, and emotions to collide, demanding a change of allegiance. Is it not time that you and I revitalize one of the world’s oldest, most universal arts–storytelling?

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As John Ortberg is fond of saying, “ Spiritual transformation cannot be orchestrated or controlled, but neither is it a random venture. We need some kind of support or structure . . . We need a plan.”

One way to plan and to give our spiritual lives support or structure is to develop what saints of old called a “rule of life.” Historically, when Christians sought to order the events of ordinary life around growing in Christlikeness, they developed a “rule of life.” But this rule should not be thought of as a “set of laws.” The Latin word for rule is regula—that is, something done regularly.

Thus, a rule of life is a planned rhythm for living in which we are gradually transformed into Christlikeness. It becomes our “training strategy” —something quite different from trying through our own efforts to become like Christ.

Remember, our fidelity to spiritual disciplines is a way of training to do something— not of trying to do something. A rule of life thus consists of a set of activities I intentionally choose to do “so that Christ can be formed in me.” It represents our personal spiritual training strategy.

Here’s how it works:

Write down on a single sheet of paper or in a Journal “your own rule of life.” It shouldn’t be elaborate— it works best when we keep it quite simple and practical. Merely list the spiritual “practices” that will be part of your daily life.

An actual example might help. Pope John XXIII wrote down this practice as a young man:

Spend 10 minutes in silent prayer the first thing in the morning. Spend 10 minutes in reading spiritual literature. Before bed, spend a few moments examining my conscience and making confession to God. Then identify issues to pray about in the morning. Set aside specific times for prayer, study, recreation and sleep. Make a habit of turning my mind to God in prayer during the day.

Let me encourage you, as Paul does to Timothy, to “train yourself in godliness.” Develop your own “rule of life.”

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Jesus committed his last days on earth to communicating his strategy for reaching the whole world with the message of eternal life. Each of the four gospels and the book of Acts record Jesus’ challenge to make disciples of all nations.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus ends the book with the most famous of these challenges, known as the Great Commission:

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the ages. (Matt. 28:18-20)

As a ministry we are committed to helping fulfill these words. More importantly, as Christ-followers, we should all be committed to this process of making disciples. Unfortunately, the church has either overlooked the command to make disciples or has overly complicated the process of discipleship.

Either way, many of us have come to believe that discipleship is for “paid experts” and not for us. Nothing could be further from the truth. All of us live under Jesus’ command to make disciples. We cannot overlook it or assume it’s for others.

Once we own the command, we need to be careful and not complicate the process. Here are three simple elements of the discipleship process that foster life-change in others:

1st: The Unchanging Truth of God’s Word. All discipleship includes submission to the truth of God’s word. I like to think of it as “bringing others under” the truth—where they seek in small communities to learn, obey and pass on truth.

2nd: Transparent Relationships. Somebody once said that discipleship is 90% relationship and 10% content. Though I believe that 10% content (the 1st Point) is critical, nothing can replace the power of relationships. Created in the image of a Triune God, we all need deep and satisfying relationships. Transformation occurs as we grapple with the truth of God’s word in the context of transparent relationships.

3rd: Accountability. Accountability takes the relational context of discipleship to the next level. Accountability means giving your discipling partners authority to call you to keep the commitments you make to God and to one another. It grants access to your heart, your emotions and to your will. The Book of Proverbs captures accountability in the phrase: As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

In summary, discipleship happens when “the truth of God’s word is at the heart of selfrevealing, intimate relationships rooted in mutual accountability.” (Source: Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden.)

Discipleship, current

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A Recipe for Imagination It’s time to cook up something other than macaroni and cheese. The stale recipes of past methods won’t suffice anymore. Fast-food ministry won’t satisfy today’s palate. Apart from a new diet of innovative ideas creatively applied, we can never hope to achieve the daunting task of reaching the world with the gospel. We need to cook up some creativity. We need to be movement building gourmets. The following recipe for creativity focuses on learning “how to think, not what to think.” Take some time with your team to practice this skill. Use the following ingredients to stir up some creative solutions to the problems you face.

1st- Cultivate an appetite for ideas. Get hungry for new ways of doing things. Adopt the mind-set of exploration and discovery. Pray and ask lots of questions. Start with a focusing question like: In what ways can I _______? (”In what ways can I stay committed to making disciples–given my family and career responsibilities?)

2nd ” Collect ideas. Get the facts, the figures, the feelings related to your project. “The best way to get a good idea is to get lots of ideas.” Read. Brainstorm. Observe. Do some research. Take surveys. The more information a person has, the greater potential one has for creativity. (Take out some butcher paper and don’t stop until you’ve listed 100 ways to follow up recruits once they leave basic training?)

3rd–Analyze ideas. Break the problem or idea into its component parts. Study it. Find its attributes, its qualities, its quantities. Examine it from different point of views. Make the idea visible–sketch it out, map it out, diagram it. Seeing the idea on paper, on a white board, in clay, etc. taps into the creative process. (What are the component parts of “ministry partner development”–how we raise personal support? Separate parts and processes. What is hardest for you? Why? )

4th–Join, relate, mix and marry ideas. Look for connections, make comparisons, relate your idea to others, invent metaphors and develop analogies. Force yourself to make novel combinations and to connect the unconnected. Look in other worlds for ideas. (In what ways is building a movement of evangelism and discipleship like building a skyscraper?)

5th–Let ideas simmer and stew. Work through your ideas consciously and unconsciously. Purposely express and reflect upon your ideas. Then take some time to let things bake for a while. Be prepared for a flash of insight when you’re just awaking from sleep, or when you’re jogging or vacuuming. (What strategic partnerships with other ministries could make up for our limited resources?)

6th–Add some spice. Have some fun by asking “what if” and “why not” questions. Change contexts. Express your idea in a different mental language. Challenge your assumptions, break the rules. (Is our evangelism like this? Please answer yes or no to this question: Will the next word you speak be no?”)

7th- Taste. Evaluate your creative ideas. How effective are they? Recognize the strengths and weaknesses. Ideas should appeal to the eye as well as the palate. Do they? Ask whether they are timely, practical, simple, human, elegant? Don’t be afraid to revise, rewrite or rethink. Most of all, don’t fear failure. Embrace failure and learn from it. Be willing to find what you aren’t looking for. (A recently failed idea of ours: send resources to staff and key volunteers on a CD. Oh well.)

8th-Digest. Assimilate ideas. Implement them. And then take time to rejoice in the creative process. It’s hard work, but it’s great fun. Try it. Leaders take time to creatively solve problems.

Imagination is more important than knowledge. — Albert Einstein

Imagination

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Evangelism: A Process of Moving People Toward the Cross
(NT Process Metaphors: Fishing and Farming)

Discipleship: A process of moving people toward Christlikeness
(NT Process Metaphors: Growing and Maturing in Christ, Building a Building)

I am the consummate doodler. I can’t think without a pen and a piece of paper. I’ve learned in the process that simple diagrams can often clarify complex truths. Over the years I’ve borrowed or developed several diagrams helpful in the discipleship process.

Draw the following out on paper and explain the following:

A major misunderstanding of the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20) argues that “becoming a Christian” is an event. In reality, the journey of faith–both before and after trusting Christ–is a PROCESS, NOT AN EVENT. We often think of evangelism as an “event” where a person goes from the “domain of darkness into the kingdom of His beloved Son” (Col. 1:13). While it’s true that many of us can point to a specific time when we trusted Christ, this event was in truth the end of a process. We made what Jim Peterson calls a “series of many mini-decisions” (represented by the Xs) to get us to that point.

Approaching Evangelism (and even Discipleship) with an EVENT mentality causes us to focus upon one decision. As a result, we enter into relationships with pre-Christians with undue fear and trembling. Our conversations become stilted and forced rather than “always full of grace, seasoned with salt (Col. 4:6.)” Often, our efforts to communicate the gospel lead to disappointment, discouragement, and a pressure for results. And if a person should trust Christ, we are satisfied with the decision and fail to provide follow-up so the person might grow in Christ.

However, by approaching evangelism and discipleship with a PROCESS mentality, we focus on a series of many mini-decisions. It liberates us to develop relationships with pre-Christians, even when they don’t respond immediately. And when they trust Christ, we’re mentally prepared to help them mature. Thus, our task in Evangelism is simply to help move people closer to the Cross. In turn, our task in Discipleship is to help move people toward Christlikeness.

Discipleship, Diagrams

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